Thursday, February 28, 2008

True royalty

Prince Harry in the trenches with "the blokes"

If you didn't see this news today, see it.
"British military officials confirmed that Harry, 23, third in line to the British throne, deployed to Afghanistan on Dec. 14 and has been fighting Taliban forces from a forward operating base in southern Helmand province."
Say what you want about do-nothing royals and a life of "undeserved privilege," but I'd like to see a Kennedy exhibit this kind of patriotism and sense of duty:

"In the December interview, one of the most extensive of his life, Harry said he considered leaving the army after being denied an Iraq deployment. The reason he didn't, he said, was 'the possibility of this' mission to Afghanistan."

Elsewhere in a videotaped interview, he recounts the Queen telling him where he was bound and her approval of his service. Asked what his mum would say, he responded, "I think she'd be proud."

Yes, it's moments like these that make me proud to be an Anglophile.

" 'I would never want to put someone else's life in danger when they have to sit next to the bullet magnet,' he said. 'But if I'm wanted, if I'm needed, then I will serve my country as I signed up to do.' "

Which brings to mind another Prince Hal.

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

-- Henry V

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Robinson Crusoe comes to NBC

Surf's up, Robby C!

First the good news...
"NBC is cashing in on the "Survivor"/"Lost" phenomenon by ordering 13 episodes of "Robinson Crusoe," a drama series based on Daniel Defoe's classic novel."
...and now the bad news.
The 17th century setting of the book will remain intact but will have a contemporary feel and deal with such issues as race relations.
I should be immune to the disease by now but apparently not, because suddenly I feel kinda queasy.

As for the novel's central theme of faith in God's providence through adversity? Strangely no mention.

Instead, Crusoe's racism will take center stage, and getting back to nature will no doubt be his salvation.

Instead, Crusoe and "loyal servant [smarter-than-master...Magic] Friday will deal with marauding [racist...slave-trading...God-fearing...Anglo-centric] militias, hungry [but proud and nobler than whitey] cannibals, [bad CGI] wild cats, starvation and [native-religion-based] apocalyptic lightning storms.

And a good time was had by all [except Daniel of the book...viewers with brains].

I hope I'm wrong, but I'll be shocked if I am.

Full story here.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Jihad Johnny 5?

Twin-turban engines!

A primary reason we've always been able to dominate Haji on the battlefield is our technological superiority. Superiority's not even the right word. There's no comparison. We can kill a heat signature the size of a rabbit with the push of a button half a world away. The best they can do is fly a plane into a building or rig the occasional cell phone to detonate Russian hand-me-down munitions.

For that reason, this headline only made me laugh.

Then I got to thinking how easy it would be to make a flying, ringtone-activated IED. How much damage one could do, say, at Yankee Stadium or a 4th of July concert in D.C.

And if I'm thinking it, you know a few cave-dwellers out in the Hindu Kush are thinking it, too.

Great idea for a movie for sure. (Don't even think about it. I gots dibs.)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Cadets dub Will Smith a 'Legend'

Walking the Hollywood wasteland, Big Willy style

Will Smith was too busy making movies last year to get any Oscar attention, but that doesn't mean he wasn't winning awards.
"...The cadets at West Point designated Smith’s character as the best personification of the military academy’s leadership qualities on the silver screen. ... Runners-up included King Leonidas of "300," portrayed by Gerard Butler, and John McClane of "Live Free or Die Hard," portrayed by Bruce Willis..."
While Time is swooning over George Clooney as "THE Last Movie Star" like a hysterical bunch of backstage bobbysoxers, the real world knows there are a few more left, and they aren't George Clooney as "Michael Clayton."

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

'Jericho' sucks

Drive hard. Drive fast. Republicans are coming.

And the walls come a-tumbling down.

Yes, '24' has gone commie, 'The Unit' is getting the Marines-in-Berkeley treatment at CBS, and now even 'Jericho' is showing its true blue state colors.

It was never a great show on any level, but the depiction of old-fashioned, small town patriotism in the face of a nuclear attack had grown a respectable following. And not among anti-war protesters.

The now-famous "nuts to cancellation" campaign mounted by fans -- modeled after the WWII battle cry uttered defiantly in last season's war-zone finale -- saved a series that also happened to be anchored by the cowboy dignity of actor, and rare Hollywood conservative, Gerald McRaney.

We already knew the nuclear attacks on America were not from abroad. But last night's episode not only made it clear neocons were the bad guys, but it laid it on thick.

We learned Iran and North Korea were not the culprits. Forces within the American government did it, and used the "attacks" as an excuse to nuke both countries...which also happen to be the two remaining players in a certain real-world president's "Axis of Evil."

The true villains have now remade America in their image. A conservative image. Which we know thanks to the new textbooks they're forcing on schools. Textbooks with angst-inducing lies about America declining morally since WWII and losing Vietnam only because we left too early.

President McEvil, of course, wants a stronger, more secure America that requires literally tearing up the Constitution, as all good conservatives desire. In his spare time he enjoys ordering the assassination of journalists who dare profess a nostalgic respect for Woodward and Bernstein. Not just crusading journalists, the real Woodster and Bernie, because they took Nixon down.

The true leader of these post-apocalyptic Republicans? A chrome-domed Bond villain of a Homeland Security director who dictates to military commanders while looming overhead on Evil-Vision JumboTron, puffy white cat in hand. (OK, there's no cat, but you know he's got one.)

Oh, and don't forget the posse of murderous Blackwater contractors roaming around at the Republicrats behest, just in case the subtle message being sent by producer Jon Turtletaub wasn't clear enough.

Why am I wasting space on all this? I don't know. Slow news day, I guess. But it's a predictable pattern, isn't it? Dissent ist verboten on netverk TV!

For further evidence of this vast left-wing conspiracy at the networks, note, too, that 'Friday Night Lights' also has a target on its back... One too many evangelical church services and heartfelt prayers depicted without irony there for that one to last long.

So I guess that leaves us Sajak?

Speaking of 'Friday Night Lights,' fans have mounted a 'Jericho'-like campaign to save that show, too. Go here to participate. Just don't be surprised if it returns with Coach Taylor replaced by a gay illegal alien with a mind to rock their racist redneck world for the freedomes of all peeples.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

A Giant sigh of relief

The signs of Spring are harder to miss this year. Maybe that's only because we just survived of our very first Washington state winter.

Who cares? It's here. And this time of year means one thing,

San Francisco Giants' position players today join the pitchers and catchers already working off the rust in Scottsdale.

Yep. "Next year" is almost here. Again. Though for the Giants, something feels different this time around... No Barry Bonds.

But what's really remarkable is how happy players and fans alike seem without him there. Not the media circus that surrounded him last year... Barry Bonds. And I say that as a guy who owns and faithfully wore the man's numbers on my back at every game.

I'd have to concur with one of the many longtime fans who have been calling in to KNBR lately to come clean:

"I don't even care how this team does," the man said. "For the first time in a long time, I can feel good about being a Giants fan."

"Yep. You won't feel like a trip to the men's room to wash your hands after that big round of applause, will ya?" agreed the show's host.

Just listen to those former teammates, who evidently feel like they've just been let out of prison:
"[Pitcher Barry] Zito told San Francisco reporters that a lot of players weren't 'comfortable in their own skin' around Bonds, including himself.

'I'm excited,' Zito said. 'People will be allowed to be who they want to be, not who they think they have to be because there is such a heavy presence in the clubhouse, such a superstar.'

Reliever Tyler Walker agreed that players often walked on eggshells around Bonds. He could break up a conversation or chill a room with a turn of his head.
Did any of us realize it was that bad? I didn't. But it explains a lot.

Thankfully, the younger, freer Giants are coalescing already around skipper Bruce Bochy's old school, dig-it-out, yes, military mindset.

"Like many of his teammates, [pitcherMatt] Cain began the day Thursday by slipping into a black-and-white-and-gray camouflage T-shirt with a saying on the back, in bold orange lettering, that reads, Warrior Spirit, Find the Swagger."

(Have I mentioned how much I like Bruce Bochy? This team draws an equal number of fans from the liberal Bay Area and conservative No Cal inlands. But Boch has more in common with the latter. Therefore, I dig.)

"It was a sartorial — and symbolic — departure from the T-shirts that were unveiled, to much fanfare, at Giants spring training last year. They were worn by pitcher Barry Zito, the team’s prized free-agent acquisition, and Bonds, its most popular — and polarizing — figure and read, 'Don’t ask me, ask Barry.' "

Or as the "good Barry" put it, in reference to the crazy-stringent drug testing now in effect:
“I think it’s good that everything’s getting cleansed right now in baseball,” he said. “You want to show kids that this game has integrity, that we have morals and rules that we abide by, and it’s not just about hitting home runs at whatever cost.”
Zito -- who has given time and raised a ton of money for the troops -- is another Red Stater you can't help but love. Seated at Bonds' old locker, he went on:

“I just want the team to feel cohesive and I felt like so much focus on the [Bonds home run] record last year took away from that,” Zito said.

“This year instead of it being us on Barry’s team, it’s just going to be our team.”

Hey, best of luck to Barry Bonds. Sincerely. I'm not throwing that jersey away anytime soon. But, Giants fans, this is how it's supposed to feel.

Now bring on the Dodgers.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Jack can't beat the Rapp

Still depressed over '24' going soft as Ted Kennedy's abs? Well weep no more. Looks like we have a new G-man patriot on the horizon -- one who could apparently beat the Jell-O out of Jack Bauer even before he went and got himself Oprahfied.

I've never read Vince Flynn, but his novels about CIA operative Mitch Rapp are popular enough to have just been bought with an eye to a new and beautiful franchise.

Variety reports:
Flynn has so far written nine novels, eight about the fictional Rapp, who possesses the ruthlessness and killing skills of Jason Bourne and the sleuthing talents of Jack Ryan.
Yeah, but is he on our side, really?
Flynn began the Rapp novels in 2000 with "Transfer of Power," in which the agent was assigned to stop Islamic terrorists who took control of the White House. In "Protect and Defend," Rapp and his longtime boss get ambushed in Iraq, and he becomes a killing machine to rescue his mentor before she is tortured.

That would be a big yes.

The studio and producers haven't decided yet which novel to use as the basis for the first film. Most involve Rapp defusing a global crisis in places like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq or the U.S.

Sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? I Googled Vince Flynn immediately. First hit was a Q&A that began this-a-way:

Question: In the real world, how effective do you think torture is with Islamic terrorists?

A: Far more effective than liberals would have you believe. Congress really upset me with how they treated Attorney General Michael Mukasey and how the media pushed this question. Why aren’t reporters forcing senators and Congress to answer the same questions about torture? What do you think we should have done? Given them a lawyer, three square meals a day and let planes get hijacked?

Read the whole interview here. This guy is clearly one of us, or close enough for terrorist-greasing government work.

Regular readers of Libertas will certainly warm to his assertion later in the Q&a that "Hollywood is now saying people don’t want to watch movies about war. No, Americans don’t want to watch [bad] anti-American movies about war. Americans would love to watch a great movie where Mitch Rapp is meting out punishment to these crazy zealots, but I don’t know if Hollywood has the guts to do it."

Apparently someone has the guts. Or at least brains enough to know a sure bet when they see one. We all know a lot can happen between novel and film, and as The Kingdom proved, a single sissyneck scene can spoil the entire film.

Still... I have a warm and fuzzy feeling about this one.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Entertaining angels, Hollywood style

I realize nothing is sacred in Hollywood, but what the hell? And I mean "hell" literally.

Let me get this straight. Michael sides with mankind against God, and a bunch of screw-ups at Perkos is the pony he hitches his hell-bound cart to, en route to becoming a kinder, gentler Lucifer? (Hey! Let's have God on the ropes and so desperate that he has to hire Lucifer on as some kind of cosmic mercenary! How cool would that be?!)

All this because God "loses faith" in humanity. Nice. And I'll bet it's also over stuff like global warming and our war-like ways, not sin or anything, right?

Yet more confirmation Hollywood views all things God as a candy store of ideas to be raided for fun and profit. The Almighty is basically another myth who can be Santa Clause 4'd into all sorts of fun poseable positions. And as with the "let's kill God" Golden Compass debacle recently, God usually ends up the heavy.

Wait, not all things God... I'm pretty sure we won't see the hilarious reboot of Mohammed reincarnated as a lesbian sorority girl on spring break in Daytona Beach anytime soon.

I'm telling ya, we need to start strapping explosives to doped-up young seminary students to start getting some respect in this town.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Congrats, make with the TV

Break's over! Back to work, people!

Residual rights, online downloading, percentages, blah-blah-blah... Just tell us when we get to see the next episode of "The Office" already.

Luckily, TV Guide has done just that. Turns out "Office" returns April/Mayish with 5 to 10 new episodes. Even better, "Bionic Woman" will never return with any new episodes this side of hell.

Click here to find out when and if your favorite show will be seen this year. Unless, like me, you count "The Unit" among your favorites, in which case they got nothing for you.

And according to "The Hollywood Reporter" that no news on "Unit" may be very bad news indeed:
"...The network's crime dramas and its Friday lineup also are expected to return by the end of March, while things don't look good for "The Unit" and "Cane," whose time slots had been taken over by "Big Brother" and "Jericho." The producers of "Cane" were informed Sunday night that the network won't be ordering more segments for this season, while its future beyond May is yet to be decided."
"Cane" I can understand, but "The Unit"? Please don't do this to me. It's a fine show with too many questions left unanswered.

If the strike just killed the last conservative show on TV, I'll never forgive. I may even start reading books again. I mean it. Don't mess with me. I'll start reading, so help me I will.

Obama's Joanie loves Cha-Che

"Obama/Stalin '08, may I help you?"

If you haven't seen this yet, take a gander, Capitalist pigs!
“I ended the problem with a .32 caliber pistol, in the right side of his brain…. His belongings were now mine.”
Yee-ikes... OK, next to a firing squad or relocation to a gulag in frozen Alaska, John McCain is suddenly looking not so bad.

"It Happened One Night" happens tonight!

Now playing on TCM, today at 5 p.m.

Libertas has a great regular feature highlighting upcoming films not to be missed on Turner Classic Movies. I really wish I'd thought of it first, but there's nothing to stop me from highlighting the ones they've missed, right?

Particularly in light of the recent discussion on the state of the romantic comedy over there, don't miss "It Happened One Night" TODAY (Monday) at 5 p.m. PST.

Still amazingly fresh after 70 whopping years, this is how it's done. That's 1934, folks, and it's quite an accomplishment. Only the Marx Brothers get similar high marx for a comedy shelf life on that magnitude.

In terms of screenplay structure, tone, pacing and so many other aspects, I'd venture to say no other film has been a bigger or longer-lasting influence on its genre. Not to mention the sub-genres of the buddy film, road film and buddy road film! (Also notable as the inspiration for Bugs Bunny's "What's up, Doc?" line in the scene with Clark Gable and the carrot.)

Not to be missed.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Top 11 ways John McCain will attempt to connect with the Obama youth vote

...because, brother, he's gonna need more than just ten.

1) Try working that "where's the beef?" line he keeps hearing about into stump speeches.

2) Enlist Bob Hope to warm up the crowd at his next debate.

3) Talk to "Snoopy" about gettin' him some "McC in the 08" chrome for his grill.

4) Start buying ties at Aeropostale to counter Old Navy image.

5) Rent a ska band.

6) Hand out "Vote for Pedro" t-shirts at next McCain Youth rally. (Also, find out who Pedro is, secure $5,000 campaign contribution.)

7) Land that sweet Richard Crenna endorsement he's been working on.

8) Change the name of the "Straight Talk Express" to the "iMcCain Xbus."

9) Forget Vietnam and start focusing on his capture by the Hessians earlier in his career.

10) Rent some of that "MySpace" in every major U.S. city for a place to crash when he's in town.

11) Dye his old guy hair a more youthful-looking gray.

Thursday, February 7, 2008


Mitt's out. We're done. I hereby endorse Ron Paul. Heck, I hereby endorse Ronald McDonald at this point. Too bad the mail-in system in Washington state means we wasted our useless protest votes on Romney already.

Hillary ain't particular

Yep. She's a ho.

Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to regurgitate HIV-infected baby food...

So, all you John McCain and Mike Huckabee supporters out there... Hope you're enjoying the beautiful new America your compassionate open borders policies are already bringing to fruition.

Or maybe HIV just needs a "fun monkey disease" image makeover?

Liberals to the left of me, liberals to the right

Don't miss this excellent new post over at Graybrook on the GOP's suicidal tendencies in '08.
" just about every appearance of John McCain the Maverick on a stage somewhere, he’s surrounded by some or all of the really hip guys in politics these days — forward-looking, cutting-edge visionaries like John Warner, Lindsey Graham, Jack Kemp, Joe Lieberman, Sam Brownback, Bob Dole . . . well, just go down the Senate cloakroom list and the roster of the Gang of 14 and the Who’s Who of Washed-up Washington pols and you’ll see what I mean. "
He's right in pointing out they don't call it the "Grand OLD Party" for nothing these days.

Sauidi cops abuse American woman. U.S. officials mildly annoyed.

Riyadh's Finest on patrol

Yeah, these people are on our side.

A U.S. citizen is arrested, apparently beaten and forced to sign a confession after Islamic religious police -- yes, actual law enforcement -- arrest her for sitting with a male coworker at Starbucks.

The Kingdom's thin blue line...keeping the streets safe from defenseless women so law-abiding oil billionaires can sleep without fear at night.

Best part? The zeal with which our government rushed to defend her: "Yara was visited this week by officials from the American Embassy, who promised they would file a report."

Monday, February 4, 2008

"Not yours to give"

...or "How Davy Crockett Nearly Convinced me to Vote Ron Paul"

UPDATE: Link fixed. Complete account now up for viewing.

My, how times have changed.

In fact, just try not to be distracted by that fact in a dozen other ways as you grasp the main point of this amazing account of how far the Republic has fallen since Davy Crockett sat in Congress.

I defended it at the time, but after this I realize how big a joke Billy Bob Thornton was in The Alamo a few years ago.