Friday, March 16, 2007

"Shooter" a self-inflicted wound


Danny Glover on the red carpet for Shooter


Don’t believe the rumors... It is all about oil, my friends.

Not only do we invade other countries for it, we slaughter whole villages and bury their bodies under the pipeline.

I know because I saw it in Shooter.

I won’t even bother with the plot. Let’s just jump right in.

In Shooter, America is baaaad. So bad that even the handful of good guys left in government are powerless to stop the vast majority of baaaad ones running it layer upon layer upon layer (with brandy snifter in hand, of course.)

In Shooter, there are no Republicans or Democrats, only guys trying to make a quick buck. In fact, any U.S. senator -- albeit those who look suspiciously more Republican than Democrat -- will admit that to your face, with a smile and a puff of cigar smoke, because you can’t do a thing about it, little man.

In Shooter, U.S. soldiers get left behind at the first sign of trouble. By their commanding officers. Who will set up large, illegal, undetectable military bases in foreign countries at a phone call from those Republican-looking senators and their Haliburton pals.

In Shooter, you can tell the bad guys by their American flag lapel pins, and the good guys by their Che Guevara T-shirts.

In Shooter, you have a film to heal the long and unfortunate rift between Hollywood and Iran caused by 300.

In Shooter...

You have a film Hugo Chavez will adore...

You have a film Hugo Chavez-adoring Danny Glover stars...

Patriotism is for suckers who should know better, a weakness acknowledged reluctantly, like alcoholism...

And even rednecky, good-old-boy gun nuts from the deep south gloat like Rosie O’Donnell about finding no WMDs in Iraq...

Seriously folks, it’s that bad.

Danny Glover was a dead giveaway, of course, but I had hoped it was one of those cases where he was so desperate for work, he was willing to compromise his core beliefs. Like Oliver Stone stooping to direct World Trade Center. But nope.

Oh, and get ready for the payoff line at the end...

Evil Guy: You can’t shoot me. I’m a U.S. Senator!
Hero: Exactly. [BLAMMO!!!]

Burn, baby, burn!!

And when, oh when, are we going to give private security contractors a break? They're popping up as the heavies everywhere lately, despite the fact most are uber-patriots in the real world who deserve to be stars in their own right. (But to see that movie, you'll have to buy my recently completed Iraq actioner, Spartans, currently being politely rejected for its subject matter by all the top producers in Hollywood.)

1 comment:

jenn said...

"In Shooter, you have a film to heal the long and unfortunate rift between Hollywood and Iran caused by 300."

Excellent line!

I knew 300, not a perfect film by any stretch, but at least a refreshing perspective, was just a short-lived anomaly. Back to business as usual.