Friday, January 30, 2009

The GOP 'Steele' hasn't got a clue

Which way to 2012?

The Republican Party is stumbling around in the dark.

I would've said "blind," but the sad fact is we're just too stupid to turn on the lights. Putting us exactly at the point the opposition was a few cycles ago when all the pundits were asking, "is the Democratic Party dead?"

Scratch that. We're even worse off, because apparently all we can come up with is this lame ass stunt to show how hip-n-with it we are.

Oh, ouch... I just realized the party of Uncle Ronnie has now become Officer Hoppy from "Sanford and Son." You remember, the dorky cracker who was always trying to talk jive and low-five all the "negro folk" to fit in. (Memo to the RNC: I couldn't even find a clip of the dude on YouTube.)

To be fair, I don't know much about Michael Steele. Maybe he's the bees knees. Hopefully, at least, we've learned our lesson about drifting to the center like we did with John McCain, and we can put that whole thing behin--

Steele, an attorney, is a conservative, but he was considered the most moderate of the five candidates running.


What, then, doth this portend?

[Steele] vowed to expand the reach of the party by competing for every group, everywhere.

"We're going to say to friend and foe alike: 'We want you to be a part of us, we want you to with be with us.' And for those who wish to obstruct, get ready to get knocked over," Steele said.

OK... One, I don't even know what that means (we want our foes in the party??) and two, what little I can make of it suggests he's referring to obstructionists within the party. And in our party "obstructionist" is often code for "uncompromising," and that tends to mean us pesky, anti-pragmatic conservatives.

I don't know about you, but this website is looking better and better by the minute.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

'Centurian' gets a triumvirate

And continuing today's theme...

So are these movies making a comeback? I hope so. Since I have a script along these lines still floating around out there.

(Now excuse me while I call my agent.)

'Gladiator' writer takes on '1066'

Norman goes a conquestin'

Me likey.

From Variety:
“The events of 1066 are some of the most fascinating in history, which have never been portrayed on the big screen before,” said Webster and Garrett, in a statement. “The scale of the piece is emblematic of Shine’s ambitions. It’s a great way to start off the relationship with New Regency. It will be a big-budget film on an epic scale.”
Actually, this could go either way. As long as it's "intelligent actioner" epic (Gladiator), not "bloated romance novel" epic (Elizabeth: The Golden Age), we're good. Unfortunately, Nicholson wrote both, so...

Fox takes over the helm on 'Dawn Treader'

You knew somebody was smart enough to pick up the pieces on this one, not that I blame Disney for balking.

I just finished reading it for the first time since childhood, and I gotta say it's the best of the first three IMHO. At least as a book. Loaded with funky, trippy imagery that really sticks with you.

It struck me as too cerebral and episodic to make an easy jump to film, maybe, but that's why these people get paid the big bucks.

It'll be real interesting to see how much of the politically incorrect core of the book -- Eustace's arc takes him from sour "modern" kid raised by joyless vegetarian liberals to believing adventurer -- will make it onto the screen. My guess is not much, but the first didn't compromise the message, so who knows? Should still be an eye-popper either way.

Six degrees of Harry Reid

In my pathological need to tie everything on this blog to politics, I give you this video tribute to the fiscal genius of the Democratic Party. Let's just say it's in honor of the economic stimulus plan passing the House. (See? Am I good or what?)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Makes a better door than a window?

Obama is just soooo much smarter than George Bush, isn't he?

"Europhobe"? I'm in!

I'm taken with Taken already. The trailer gave my right leg the tingles, and now a cursory view of the snarky reviews up at RottenTomatoes has me really interested.

The movie follows Liam Neeson as a kick-arse former CIA operative who kick-arses his way though the seedy underbelly of Europe to rescue his daughter.

My favorite take, a crappily written review from MSNBC, decries:
"...So it’s off to Europe for Bryan, and in no time, he’s punching, kicking and shooting his way through friend and foe alike, picking off corrupt cops, Eastern European pimps, oily girl-auctioneers and bloated Saudi oil sheiks with a taste for young virgins.

... The script also tosses in some '24'-lite torture sequences that will no doubt gladden the heart of any Bushies who miss the glory days of Gitmo. Add to that the film’s 'save the white girl from the foreign infidels' plotline — a staple of American cinema going back to the bad old days of 'Birth of a Nation' — and there’s a queasily reactionary feel to the movie that detracts from its more incitement-to-riot qualities."

Detracts? I think he meant to say "enhances."

Anybody who happens to see this over the weekend, let us know what you think.

Boom goes the dynamite

"What...? It's new flavor ice cream. You try?"

The IISS says Iran could be nuclear-capable this year. Which means whatever's going to happen is probably going to happen later '09 or early '1o. And I'm pretty sure we'll be sitting it out.
"...the survey reports doubts over US Intelligence estimates that Iran halted its work on nuclear weapons six years ago.

This points to Tehran's continued development of long-range ballistic missiles able to reach targets in Israel and beyond.

The IISS recommends a mixture of carrot and stick as the best international response."
Totally. I hear the Israelis know how to kill a man with a carrot.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Pelosi don't no nothing about birthin' no babies

Bye-bye, Little Timmy!

Nancy Pelosi says fewer mouths to feed will be good for the economy.

Funny how that only works for her when it means killing babies and/or preventing their arrival by any means other than the Democrats' preferred method of population growth -- a midnight run for the border on your due date in a Ford Aerostar.

More on the above story here.

Dirty old men (and women)


I've often wondered how the generation that stuck the world with rampant STDs, epidemic drug use and The Grateful Dead would put their own spin on senior citizen status.

Somehow, I assumed, they wouldn't be the font of wisdom and selflessness the planet has graced with the titles of grandma and grandpa forever now.

It seems my instincts were right. And penicillin manufacturers may well have found pharmaceutical El Dorado in Florida's "The Villages," which you can bet your Viagra is a wrinkled picture of things to come.

DTV delayed...again

Are you freaking kidding me? How long are they going to drag this out??

I knew they were going to push this back yet again. (This article was written earlier, but the delay to June 12 was approved today.)

Slacker Nation, that's what we are.

So it seems Obama really does intend to solve your every problem using someone else's cash. And he's right. Who are we to expect people to pay $50 out of their own pockets for the privilege of watching "The Price is Right" for free the rest of their lives?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Hard drives, desktop PCs going the way of VCR?

Time to sell your Microsoft shares

Don't you get the sense we're on the verge of another quantum leap forward in the tech arena? (Google's GDrive is in the news today, too.)

All I know is, I'm really feeling the burn in my triceps after a weekend of Wii.

He only wants to help

More evidence Barack Obama isn't exactly Albert Einstein...
"We must help them thrive by building the cars of tomorrow."
Forced innovation...beyond the boundaries of known a time when the entire industry is running on fumes.

Isn't that a little like putting a gun to the head of flu-stricken athlete 24 hours before the biggest race of his life and telling him to run faster?

Bush family not in it for the money

More evidence President Bush isn't the devil incarnate. And the Clintons, by comparison...?

Bush snubbed by Mexico on last day in office?

Is Mexico el pissed de off at former president Bush or what?

On his last day, Bush talked to every major head of state on the planet, but for next-door Mexico the only person returning his call was former president Vincente Fox.

We know they're flipping out over releasing Ramos and Compean. That news hit last week when a Mexican official ratted out the Bush administration by revealing Mexico had lobbied hard for the conviction, then continued to lobby against commutation of their sentences.

This of course was in direct contradiction to administration attack dog Johnny Sutton's suggestion "a standard letter" of protest had been the sum total of communication between the countries and that no such foreign power was in any way working us like a sock puppet. (Technically, as Congressman Dana Rohrabacher said on CNN last week, Sutton was accurate in saying a letter was sent, but as this was in answer to questions about whether or not the case was subject to outside influence, Sutton was a total liar.)

Why is this a big deal?

Regarding the phone call, it's not. But regarding Mexico's belief it has a right to influence American policy to the degree it can pitch a hissy fit when things don't go its way...? As Rohrabacher also pointed out, when a country that's all but run by drug cartels can railroad two American citizens on American soil for actions taken to keep drugs out of the U.S., it's a huge, huge deal.

But don't cry too hard for our narco-neighbors to the south. We have a new president now. One who's gonna make everything alllllriiiiight. (And if anyone can appreciate the value of an open supply line to quality blow it's Barack Obama, right?)

Click here for the segment on Lou Dobbs.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Gone skiing!

Silver Mountain, Idaho. I'm there, doing that, right now. (Eat your heart out, So Cal!)

Back in a few days!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Gilliam still tilting at windmills

Glutton for punishment?

I love the guy, and more power to him, but I'll believe it when I'm actually sitting in the theater with 30 seconds to curtain-up on this thing. At which point I fully expect the film to jam in the projector and burst into flames.

In praise of President Bush

A college friend was lucky enough to be on hand at Andrews Air Force Base Tuesday to help send off President Bush. Looking at the pictures she emailed -- snapped while among the faithful few ditching the bandwagon events of the day to be with the man -- I could imagine the lump in my throat as I watched the man taxi down the runway and back home.

I was sorry then I hadn't written a proper farewell that day. Luckily someone in the Wall Street Journal has. That someone is someone the Left hates even more than Bush, but I invite you to dispute what He Who Shall Not Be Named has chosen for his central premise.
"To start with, Mr. Bush was right about Iraq. The world is safer without Saddam Hussein in power. And the former president was right to change strategy and surge more U.S. troops.

A legion of critics (including President Barack Obama) claimed it couldn't work. They were wrong. Iraq is now on the mend, the war is on the path to victory, al Qaeda has been dealt a humiliating defeat, and a democracy in the heart of the Arab world is emerging. The success of Mr. Bush's surge made it possible for President Obama to warn terrorists on Tuesday "you cannot outlast us."

... And Mr. Bush, a man of core decency and integrity, was right not to reply in kind when Democratic leaders called him a liar and a loser. The price of trying to change the tone in Washington was to be often pummeled by lesser men."
I love that last part. You could argue Bush's remarkable ability to turn the other cheek allowed his opponents to totally frame his public image. You could argue his kind heart led him down a liberal path at times. But President Bush was undeniably a man of astonishing grace who deserves more than the unconscionable hate greeting him from some at #44's inauguration. I'm confident history will hold him in higher regard.

Finally, as even the MSM pointed out Tuesday, he was a guy who meant it when he often yearned to return to rank-and-file American status, unlike most former presidents who pay their common citizenship lip service but "never end up leaving Washington." I take comfort then that he's in a better place -- Texas, which welcomed him back with open arms.

I miss the man already, and I know it will only get worse in the next four years.

(Read more of my thoughts looking back at the man's legacy, posted earlier here.)

Jesus and the GOP -- always good for a laugh

If you were wondering whether or not the Left's political victory would satisfy their blood lust and result in a blessed return to bipartisan entertainment, wonder no more.

Die, Hollywood! Die!

God help us. What is wrong with this town?

"More Boos Than Balls"

Even if you're one of those conservatives who can't abide Ann Coulter's signature verve, do yourself a favor and read this.
"...But I gather that if Obama had uttered anything more than the briefest allusion to Bush, that would have provoked yet more booing from the Hope-and-Change crowd, which moments earlier had showered Bush with boos when he walked onto the stage. That must be the new tone we've been hearing so much about.

So maybe liberals can stop acting as if the entire nation could at last come together in a "unity of purpose" if only conservatives would stop fomenting "conflict and discord" -- as Obama suggested in his inaugural address. We're not the ones who booed a departing president.

It is a liberal trope to insult conservatives by asking them meaningless questions, such as the one repeatedly asked of Bush throughout his presidency about whether he had made any mistakes. All humans make mistakes -- what is the point of that question other than to give insult?

When will the first reporter ask President Obama to admit that he has made mistakes? Try: Never.

No, that question will disappear for the next four years. It will be replaced by the new question for conservatives on every liberal's lips these days: Do you want Obama to succeed as president?

Answer: Of course we do. We live here, too."
She keeps her cool, she backs her position and she's dead on. Read the whole thing. If you disagree, go watch this again and get back to me.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Exclusive 'Lost' Season 5 details

Tonight's the night for the big season premier, and we have your exclusive preview right here!

Rumor has it the remaining survivors start to feel the effects caused by the island being moved, and Jack and Ben begin their quest to reunite the Ocean 6 -- along with Locke's body -- to return to the island.

Meanwhile, lovable rogue Dubya discovers the real world repercussions of his time away from humanity when he awakes in Midland, Texas, and realizes he's the only English-speaker left in the southern United States. And that he appears to have aged at six times the normal rate.

Back on the island, Barack assumes office only to find a cryptic note from Al Gore warning him to "press the Green button" every five minutes precisely or risk the Party's destruction.

Out in the jungle, Sawyer literally charms the pantsuit off Hillary, who renounces lesbianism. But with Bill's language skills improving daily, will her plan to salvage their marriage remain a secret, or will he discover the truth -- and resort to murder in order to maintain his mystic connection to the island lifestyle?

Returning to Venezuela, Hugo's descent into madness culminates in his rise to the presidency. Speaking at the U.N. the day after Barack, Hugo shocks the world by declaring that the podium "smells like the fried cheecken and peanut butters," bringing unprecedented sanctions from the Security Council and NAACP. Hugo retaliates by cutting oil shipments to the entire world and funding Danny Glover's production company with a billion dollars.

A subplot also emerges based on last season's heartbreaking "Recovering Nicely" episode, in which a powerful Massachusetts senator mysteriously dies and comes to life again roughly every third episode.


In the very first episode, while moving to shut down The Others' compound at Guantanamo, Barack accidentally unleashes a new and powerful turbaned Smoke Monster on the beach party being held by the Hollywood castaways awaiting rescue. Witnessing the particularly gruesome death of Leonardo DiCaprio (attempting escape on a waverunner), a desperate Barack seeks council from the ghost of Dick Cheney at the cabin...but receives only cruel laughter in return.

And finally this season, Kate will reportedly reject both Jack and Sawyer when hunky newcomer Splash emerges from the surf in what critics are calling "the sexiest arrival since Daniel Craig in Casino Royale."

Looks like we're in for the craziest, most unpredictable season yet!

The recap show airs at 8 p.m. with the premier at 9 on ABC.

Jay-Z's inaugural racist rant

They hate you, White America. There's just no other conclusion. Except that somebody needs to shoot these fools, preferably in the teeth.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday Night Fever!

I'm sorry, but what the funk was that?? Are we ruled by royalty now? I don't remember voting Obama prom king, let alone actual king, though with the DJ and near make-out session on the dance floor, it was maybe closer to the former. Awk-ward.

So that's what they call a neighborhood ball? Wall to wall tuxes, plasma screens and R&B stars? No burgers... No icy tubs of cold beer and sodas... Not even a bounce house for the neighborhood kids. (Speaking of which, I've been to D.C. When Stevie Wonder is the only disabled black man in the house, it ain't no neighborhood ball.)

And did you catch all the Cirque du Soleil action gyrating from the silken ceilings? Guess I was on the money with my "Bread and Circuses" post. And by money, I mean your tax money, which I guarantee was being spent in some capacity on this cavalcade of bling.

I hope to find more footage later, but the first couple's "Enchantment Under the Sea" slow dance is up now at least. Hold onto your lunch.

Movin' on up!

Check out these sweet homes of the future. (Doesn't Ed Bagley Jr. already live in one of these?) Comes complete with slaughterhouse amenities and optional garage for your Adobe!

And you thought President Obama didn't have a plan for solving the housing crisis.

Big wheel keep on turning

Barack Hussein Obama II

Just because I don't like the man doesn't mean the significance of this day is lost on me.

Godspeed, sir.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Obamafest '09

FDR celebrated with chicken salad and plain pound cake. Check out how our new liege plans on greeting the greatest challenges facing America since the Great Depression.

What was it the Romans called this kind of thing right around the end of the Empire? Bread and Circuses?

Yeahhhh... I'm gonna have to go ahead and think maybe the guy doesn't quite mean what he says sometimes. Or maybe all the "everyone must serve" talk this past week was referring to the catering?

(Let's hear it for the Associated Press, too. Who knew they had it in them?)

UPDATE: That ole Leftist curmudgeon Jack Cafferty on CNN just reported the number could be closer to $160 million, with the added bit of news that the biggest donors to the par-tay are...recently bailed-out Wall Street tycoons.

Mexico on the "edge of the abyss"

A-ha... Now I see why President Bush set Ramos and Compean free. Looks like we're going to need every able-bodied man willing to pull a trigger on the southern border pretty soon.

President Bush comes through for Ramos & Compean

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, they're free at last!

And with this final act, the Wavelength's love/hate relationship with George W. Bush tilts closer to love again.

Whew... At least now I can be thoroughly depressed during the inauguration tomorrow.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Black Death vs. al-Qaeda

No, that's not a comic book title. It's God taking care of business.

Obama prayer leader has some esplainin' to do

Bah, who am I kidding... No one in Obama's world has to explain anything.

But he sure is bringing all kinds of folks to the table, isn't he? Rick Warren, Bishop Pink Tutu and now this patriotic, all American lady. (No word if she's a member of Obama's Hamas-loving church or not. Doubtful. "Ingrid Mattson" sounds a bit too...Lutheran to make it in the door.)

Now if we can only dig up a Wiccan and NAMBLA nun in drag, we'll be in business!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Jesus is a friend of mine!

Just to clarify the category in which I place Rick Warren...

Rick Warren is down with that

Can we please, finally, get over the notion of Rick Warren as the greatest thing modern American Christianity has going? Or maybe he is and we're really this far gone.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

BOMBSHELL: Barry Bonds wasn't lying!

Looks like Barry may be in the clear. I mean, he was definitely on the Clear, but when he said he wasn't on steroids he may have been telling the truth as defined at the time of his testimony.
" 'This case has been presented as Barry Bonds lying about steroids,' said Christopher Cannon, a San Francisco defense attorney with extensive experience in federal perjury cases. 'The government’s theory is that he was taking the Clear. If the government knows the Clear wasn’t a steroid – then when Barry said he wasn’t taking a steroid, he was telling the truth.' ”
This of course assumes the Clear and the Cream were all he was on. If that's the case, even his "enhanced" career may yet merit him a fastball's chance in Cooperstown.

(And if that statement doesn't draw a comment from a certain Spokane-based known reader of mine, nothing will!)

Iowahawk: Upcoming 2009 releases

They're laughing at, not with you, Hollywood

This one speaks for itself. Funniest stuff I've seen in a long time. Don't miss Silenced Wood; Oh, Hell No; and The Royal Fluffers. (Thanks to reader Mr_Magoo for the heads-up!)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Virginity auction hits $3.7 million

I don't make this stuff up, folks.

Movie stuff

It's been nice scouring the trades lately and noticing a marked drop-off in politically themed stuff. A few of the more interesting bits of news lately...

-- Jackie Chan is reportedly being tapped to play Mr. Myagi in the Karate Kid remake. I'm just wondering, is the original's winning underdog formula enough to overcome the stink this project is projecting so far?

-- Also, I hope I didn't throw a monkey wrench into Liam Neeson's works with my comments to Steven Spielberg the other day. Because you know Stevie hangs on my every word.

-- Nor did I realize John Carter of Mars was being directed by Andrew Stanton. If you're not familiar, don't let the Molly Hatchet, 1970's van art throw you. The book was written in long forgotten days of yore by Edgar Rice Burroughs, so it could be fun.

-- I told you Tron 2 was going to be big. Looks like people are already trying to ride its wave.

-- Can't say I'm as confident knowing what to expect from Disney's prequel to "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." I assumed this was based on Craig Titley's script, famous for landing on the 2007 Black List (the annual list of best unproduced screenplays as voted on by the industry).

But now I see that this is Disney's hurried move to beat another studio to the punch, which to my knowledge has never produced anything good in times past. (Witness the Robin Hood race in the early '90s, or the sucktastic Alexader the Great film secreted by Oliver Stone to beat Baz Luhrmann more recently.)

I have no idea, but since Nemo is to be a more sympathetic character, I fear his original mission to punish man's inhumanity to man might be justification enough to put a save-the-planet environmentalist spin to things.

-- Finally, just to slide back into the muck of politics, this one (Infiltrator) looks well worth tracking over the coming months. I never saw "House of Saddam" but neither that nor this one look at all incompatible with us movie fans who prefer to sit on the right side of the multiplex aisle -- except maybe the fact commie billionaire Mark Cuban is executive producing.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Breaking winds of change!

A world of truth wrapped up in 1 minute, 39 seconds of YouTubey goodness. (Courtesy of Big Hollywood.)

Gitmo alumni keep on truckin'!

Despite the fact Guantanamo is supposedly such a force for oppression and civil rights violation that Obama has sworn to close it down, the Pentagon reports that 61 former inmates have returned to the ranks of active terrorism.

For some reason I'm suddenly remembering Nicholas Cage in a certain scene from Raising Arizona. Standing in for Mr. Cage in our production today will be Achmed the terrorist. Playing the parts of the parole board officials will be President Obama and Sen. Harry Reid

They've got a name for people like you, Achmed. That name is called "recidivism."

Harry Reid: Repeat offender!

Obama: Not a pretty name, is it Achmed?

No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.

Obama: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?

No, sir, no way.

Harry Reid:
'Cause we just want to hear the truth.

Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Obama: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?

Yes, sir.

Obama: Okay, then.

CUT TO: Achmed sprints from the gates yelling "Allah Akhbar!!", jumps into a waiting car, which promptly rams the courthouse and EXPLODES.

OK, I made that last part up, but close enough.

There was some good news in that report, though. For the mainstream media anyway.
"Propaganda does not qualify as a terrorist activity," the Pentagon said in a statement.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Steven Spielberg: proudly of, by, and for the people (of Hollywood)

I've preferred watching the Golden Globes to the Oscars over the past decade. Mainly because even at its most snobbish, the Globes include television, which hasn't yet found a way for the good stuff to be known as the good stuff without the approval of the viewing public.

Last night, though, nearly put me off movies for good. Seriously. I went to bed mildly depressed.

I had recorded it, enabling me to burn through the whole thing in an hour or so -- '24' on another channel had first dibs on my valuable TV time -- but viewed even at double speed, the complete lack of connection to anything that made me fall in love with movies (and by extension award shows) was painfully apparent.

Only once last night did the magic of movies make me sit up and smile. It lasted all of 30 seconds, as clips from the first half of Steven Spielberg's career were shown for his Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award.

You know the ones I'm talking about -- Jaws, Raiders, E.T., Close Encounters -- back when he made movies, not films. Back when entertaining audiences with the raw energy of Duel defined him over the more recent need to "give back" with depressing, important fare like Munich or even the excellent but trying Schindler's List.

I know he made The Color Purple in 1985, and he can still be a ton of fun today ala War of the Worlds. But I could clearly feel the "magic" of his body of work fading as the clips marched toward the present day.

Then Spielberg himself explained why in his speech moments later.

Referring to the entertainment that put a smile on the face of a depressed nation in the 1930's -- later, not coincidentally, to become known as the "Golden Age of Hollywood" -- Spielberg said:
"In these hard economic times, we'll be asked to make movies for broader and broader audiences, but we can't forget that we're an audience of individuals first."
That sounded promising... Until he explained next that his fellow creatives in the (well-insulated, high-security) room were, in fact, the individuals to whom he was referring and from whom he today draws his "inspiration" to create.

It was a particularly sad Freudian slip at the end of a speech which had began with a great story of how the magic of a childhood trip to "the movies" -- specifically a Cecil B. DeMille-directed scene of pure spectacle -- had launched his love of movies.

In other words, Steven Spielberg, perhaps the greatest natural filmmaker in history, was drawn into the magic from the outside, as a citizen of flyover country, by a movie made for broad audiences, yet today his focus is largely on the closed system in which he exists today.

Which is all the long, sad way of validating what conservatives have been saying about Hollywood in general, and these awards shows in particular, for more than a decade now -- that what once proudly billed itself as the "art form for the masses," what used to be the alternative to opera and high-falutin' theater, has itself become the roped-off playground for the nation's creative aristocracy.

Come back to us, Steven. You've still got it, with more talent in your little finger than everyone else in that room combined. I won't lie and say we need you now more than ever necessarily. We'll get by. But, man, do we miss you.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Prince Harry to be shot by firing squad

If there's any doubt in your mind that the United States is the last bastion of freedom in the world (for now), consider this -- In the U.K. there is an official government inquiry...into this.

President Bush -- mumbling off into the sunset

As his eight years in office comes to a close, I'd so much rather be singing the praises of George W. Bush. Obviously I appreciate all he's done to fight terrorism like a man. And I thank God he was in charge when it was time to name key members of the Supreme Court.

But in every other respect, he single-handedly broke the Republican brand by inaction or actively advancing the cause of liberalism and internationalism over party ideals and allegiance to country.

And, if it's all the same to you, he'd like that near perfect record to continue after he's gone.
"It's very important for our party not to narrow its focus, not to become so inward looking that we drive people away from a philosophy that is compassionate and decent," the president said in an interview on "Fox News Sunday" that was aired today. "We shouldn't have litmus tests as to whether or not you can be a Republican. And we should be open-minded about big issues like immigration reform, because if we're viewed as anti-somebody -- in other words, if the party is viewed as anti-immigrant -- then another fellow may say, well, if they're against the immigrant, they may be against me."
The logic in that last line... I don't even know where to begin.

Did he just actually look us in the eye and tell us we can't win unless we're pro-everybody?? How on God's green earth did we let this man walk around with his GOP secret decoder ring for the better part of a decade?

And then there's "We shouldn't have litmus tests on whether or not you can be a Republican."

Yeah... Party platforms are so exclusionary. Even the name, "Republican"... What is that anyway? We need something more pro-people and democracy. Ooo! How about something like Democrat?

Man, just strap that cardboard cutout we call Barack Obama behind the wheel and roll this sucker off the cliff already. I'll take death by giant fireball over lingering on forever any day.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Iran says no to suicide tours of the Holy Land

Tehran U., baby! We're number one! We're number one!

Don't you love it when the universe supplies its own punchline?

I can just see the flyer posted in the student union at Tehran University, easy-tear tabs and all. Intramural softball... Scrapbooking... Sign-ups for suicide attacks in Israel!

Sure, it's an easy way to boost your grade in Infidel Studies, but realistically how does this get you a job after graduation?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

2009 Razzie nominees

Apparently someone leaked the nominations before they've been officially announced, but apart from Tom Cruise (Valkyrie was a fine film) and Stallone (a Razzie fixture nominated mainly out of tradition), it's a pretty dead-on list.

Or you could just white out the Oscar ballot and have another fine list of Razzie contenders. Here's hoping Dark Knight cleans up this year and reverses the trend of political, anti-populist, too-cool-for-school snobbery that has torpedoed the Academy Awards the last few years.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Islam is a many splendored thing

During the same event at which his mob tells Jews to "go back to the ovens," this Imam says folks just need to be educated "about what Islam really is, so they can appreciate the beauty of it."

Thanks for clearing that up for us.

You ask me, the only education needed is the schooling Hamas is enjoying courtesy of the Israeli Defense Force. (Now if only a few of those shells could find their way to inner city Ft. Lauderdale.)

'Tron 2' casting update

Garrett Hedlund is set for the lead in Tron 2 (...or TR2N, Tron 2.0, Tron: The Wrath of Flynn, or whatever they're calling it this week).

Hedlund has been far better than good in everything I've seen him in so far. Making this another fine choice in a string of great choices that include bringing back Jeff Bridges, rolling the dice on a dynamic new director in Joseph Kosinski (check out his YouTube portfolio films), and shooting it all in true, 100% 3D.

Here me now and believe me later, this thing is going to be huge. Groundbreaking huge.

And with Hedlund confirmed as the protagonist, CinemaBlend's intriguing theory of Jeff Bridges returning as the villain is looking more on the money.
"...In the first movie a programmer named Flynn (Jeff Bridges) is sucked inside the computer to be destroyed. In the sequel, it sounds like the computer is bringing a programmer inside to help defend it. The test footage from Comic Con hinted at the possibility that Jeff Bridges might be playing the bad guy, an evil computer entity in the sequel. If that’s the case, it might actually make sense for a digitized Flynn, once a computer programmer himself, to bring in another programmer to aid him in fighting off rebels led by his once friend, Tron."
Oh, also...? I'm not a geek.

Making sweet moola with Uncle Rico

People right here in the U.S. rolling their own. Who knew the secret to solving our economic problems was this easy? Besides the government, I mean.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!!"

Man, talk about your most embarrassing moment. Or would that be "bare-assing" moment? Poor guy.

(Warning: Contains nudity. Lilly-white nudity.)

Big Hollywood up and running

Andrew Breitbart's Big Hollywood blog is a go.

Edited by former Libertas and Dirty Harry's Place dynamo John Nolte, it looks like a winner so far. Drop on by and say hey, then give 'em a prominent bookmark.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Disney salutes the troops

And not just in any old way, either.
"Through June 12, 2009, each active or retired member of the U.S. military can receive one complimentary three-day "Disney's Armed Forces Salute" Park Hopper ticket valid for admission to both Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure parks. During the offer period, active or retired U.S. military personnel also may make a one-time purchase of an adult or child three-day "Disney's Armed Forces Salute Companion" Park Hopper ticket for up to five family members (including spouse) or friends for the price of an adult 1-Day Park Hopper ticket."
That is a sweet deal. Even if the economy was humming along just fine, which it isn't.
"For so many of the men and women who serve in our U.S. military, time together with their families is cause enough for celebration," said Jay Rasulo, chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. "We are grateful for their service and hope 'Disney's Armed Forces Salute' will allow our troops to create wonderful, magical memories with their family and friends."
I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time they've done something like this. Either way, Walt would be proud.

Now, by the way, is probably a great time to stock up on undervalued Disney shares for a long-term hold. That Jonas Brothers 3D concert is going to be the fiscal cherry on a tasty sundae currently being scooped by Bob Iger.

(Still bummed they're leaving Voyage of the Dawn Treader in the lurch, tho. Details here.)

Mattel Films!

It's official. Hollywood just ran out of ideas.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Scribblers pulling out of Iraq

The mainstream press is done with Iraq.
" “The war has gone on longer than a lot of news organizations’ ability or appetite to cover it,” said Jane Arraf, a former Baghdad bureau chief for CNN who has remained in Iraq as a contract reporter for The Christian Science Monitor."
Wouldn't have anything to do with the fact there's no more bad news to report because we've won, would it? Hmm...

Afghanistan is where they're all heading next, of course. Plenty of tales to spin of woe and U.S. barbarism there yet.

Then again, with a new president in charge -- one for whom, remember, Chris Matthews says it's the press' duty to help make successful -- we might get some good news at last.

(Hat tip Michael Yon.)

Saturday, January 3, 2009


President Bush has issued his latest pardons. This time meth dealers and illegal immigrant smugglers-for-profit have been turned loose, but not two border patrolmen whose darkest crime -- assuming for a drunken moment the whole thing wasn't a political payoff to Mexico in the first place -- was the non-lethal fanny wounding of a dead-to-rights, repeat-offender drug runner who had illegally crossed the border these two were sworn to secure with state-issued, bullet-shooting weapons.

Could Dubya be the most liberal Republican president ever? Definitely. Prove me wrong here. And among presidents of any party, I'd put him somewhere between FDR and LBJ at this point. (Only because I have a feeling I'd like LBJ's pardons more than these so far. Otherwise, no difference at all.)

I know all presidents free some strange birds, the understanding being that these cases arrive on the desk with issues, serious questions or extenuating circumstances attached.

But there was ever a case that qualified for review, it's Ramos and Compean. You've had congressmen on both sides of the aisle lobbying against this miscarriage of justice for months now, for Pedro's sake. There's just no excuse.

A 10+ year sentence for each is nearly as hard to understand as this lack of respect from their commander in chief.

Still time left to do the right thing, sir. Don't make me come down there and start throwing shoes.