Top Ten Signs Fidel Castro Is Fully Recovered

10. Every morning, 45 minutes of torture, followed by 45 minutes of cardio

9. His coat is shiny and his nose is wet

8. Organized six guerillas to rob Mick Jagger's apartment

7. His 1959 Chrysler Imperial was spotted at IHOP

6. In NFL draft, was picked before Brady Quinn

5. Recently pimped out his MySpace

4. Returned to favorite hobbies of his youth like tennis and kidnapping

3. Tried to get on Late Show Impressionist Week 2 doing Pacino in "Scarface"

2. He's put on 30 pounds, he's wearing fatigues, he's spewing propaganda... Wait, that's Rosie O'Donnell

1. Hasn't had a "Cuban Missile Crisis" in some time, if you know what I mean.

-- Late Night With David Letterman, CBS-TV