G.I. Joe to become U.N. Joe

Rumors have been flying for months about the possible fate of perhaps the most American comic book hero this side of Captain America.

What would commie pinko Hollywood do to mess this up? Because it had to do something. Because a model for children dressed in camouflage and dog tags? Whose sole purpose is to fight the enemies of America? Right now, during time of war? Can't happen.

And it won't. The rumors are confirmed.

In the politically correct new millennium, G.I. Joe bears no resemblance to the original.

Paramount has confirmed that in the movie, the name G.I. Joe will become an acronym for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity" — an international, coed task force charged with defeating bad guys. It will no longer stand for government issued, as in issued by the American government.

So there you have it. International... Coed... The one-two punch of guaranteed floppage and the 157th time Hollywood has shot itself in the foot this year.