With a name like Dumbledore...

...he had to be gay.

Talk about your old poofters...

" 'Harry Potter' author J.K. Rowling confirmed to TIME Magazine Friday at a public appearance that Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore, the father figure to Harry in the successful series, is gay."

Explains all the purple satin, don't it?

"...More relevant is that Rowling told the audience that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbledore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about her character."

Nice. Studios will battle conservative authors like Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler to the death on every niggling point, political or creative, but when it comes to the noble cause of pushing the gay agenda on legions of nerdy kids in need of an imaginary literary friend, Hollywood will cave to the slightest whim of the author.

You ask me, the whole Harry Potter phenomenon is gay. But personally, based on name alone, I would have voted Cornelius Fudge -- wink, wink -- most likely 'light in the loafers.'