Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Et tu Kenya?

Here we go again

I know we're supposed to hold hands and dance around the MLK Middle School maypole singing songs about how better off Africa is since throwing off the chains of colonial rule, but I'm guessing horror and barbarism on this magnitude wouldn't be happening if England was still benevolently dictating Kenya. And the death toll is rising.

Or, as the masters of politically correct understatement at CNN so kindly put it, "Tribal bonds color Kenyan politics."

Sad, sad, sad. Such a beautiful place otherwise. (Kenya, not CNN.)

And why, oh why, hasn't Congress pressured the U.N. to enact stricter machete control laws already?? Rwanda... Darfur... Nigeria... Zimbabwe... It always comes back to the evil machete. And very probably the machete-industrial complex. Because if any place on earth needs the awesome power of the 10-day waiting period, Africa's it.

Sorry about some of this. My defense of imperialism is no doubt hard to accept -- even to me. And yes, I realize formerly British India is a rising economic power at this very moment.

But let's have a show of hands... Who really thinks it would have taken this long or the smell would have gotten quite so bad in India if legions of snooty Anglo monarchists were still sipping tea on every street corner while plotting to make off with the exotic spices and zoo animals?


Love me, hate me... I am but your humble John-Leguizamo-as-Toulouse-Lautrec-in-Moulin-Rouge. ("I only speak the twuth...I only speak the twuth...I only speak the twuth!")

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