Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Sports chick damns self at celebrity roast

Reporting from the Lake of Fire...

Dana Jacobson is an ugly bitch. Being a woman, she has a small brain, is inferior to all men and fit professionally only to give massages or wash the laundry of men. She slept her way into her job at ESPN, and given her looks, should be grateful even for that.

Shocked? Just making a point.

If someone in the public eye had said that, even at a roast, they'd be out of a job the next morning. If they'd said similar things about Jews, Martin Luther King or Mohammed, same result. (Actually, in the case of Mohammed, they might end up stabbed to death on a sidewalk in Amsterdam.)

But Jacobson can yell out "F--- Jesus!" for laughs and walk away with a (rumored) week-long suspension. She's reportedly been "disciplined," anyway, but the powers that be at ESPN refuse to confirm even this light slap on the wrist.

Hey, at least the assembled sports crowd booed Jacobson off the stage. When Kathy Griffin inspired her with last year's "Suck it, Jesus!" knee-slapper at the Emmys, she got a standing ovation.

The pair have reportedly also been given first-class tickets on a specially chartered bullet train to hell for use at a later date.

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