Friday, February 8, 2008

Top 11 ways John McCain will attempt to connect with the Obama youth vote

...because, brother, he's gonna need more than just ten.

1) Try working that "where's the beef?" line he keeps hearing about into stump speeches.

2) Enlist Bob Hope to warm up the crowd at his next debate.

3) Talk to "Snoopy" about gettin' him some "McC in the 08" chrome for his grill.

4) Start buying ties at Aeropostale to counter Old Navy image.

5) Rent a ska band.

6) Hand out "Vote for Pedro" t-shirts at next McCain Youth rally. (Also, find out who Pedro is, secure $5,000 campaign contribution.)

7) Land that sweet Richard Crenna endorsement he's been working on.

8) Change the name of the "Straight Talk Express" to the "iMcCain Xbus."

9) Forget Vietnam and start focusing on his capture by the Hessians earlier in his career.

10) Rent some of that "MySpace" in every major U.S. city for a place to crash when he's in town.

11) Dye his old guy hair a more youthful-looking gray.

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