Friday, September 5, 2008

Obama: The Wizard of Wall Street

"No problem, bro. We'll take care of you."

Go on, Jon Stewart... Tell me again how the GOP is the party of the rich and powerful.

You've no doubt heard about Barack Obama's massive campaign cash lead on John McCain, the implication being that the common folk have! spoken! Pooling what's left in their piggy banks and couch cushions since Dick Cheney personally ran through their house with a ski mask and pillow case. (With getaway driver Karl Rove waiting outside. In a Halliburton company car. Paid for by Iraq war proceeds.)

Now we hear Sarah Palin's speech -- no joke, just her speech -- scared these poor folks so bad, they coughed up another $10 million literally overnight.

What you may not have heard is that much of Obama's huge war chest, and most of this latest $10 million, was in fact largely raised by...Wall Street.

CNBC's Charlie Gasparino just reported today that Street power brokers including Laurence Fink, Steven Rattner, Blair Effron and Roger Altman took one look at Sarah Palin and immediately "hit the phones" to put more cash in Barry's bulging pockets.

"Really? Those Monopoly Guy tycoons??"

Oh, yes indeedy. The Left has historically vilified them as pork-faced moneychangers with pinstripe suits and hundred-dollar-bill-lit cigars. (Couldn't find a visual for that, so enjoy Gov. Bill Richardson, Dem., above.) But Wall Street has been cozying up to the Left big time in recent years. This year in record numbers.

"But I thought all they cared about were taxes."

They're already paying taxes out the wazoo. Taxes are the cost of doing business by now. The thing about socialism on the scale proposed by Obama is that it represents a shortcut to profits through taxation. Not to mention short-term profits for traders, investors hedge fund chiefs like those manning the phones for Obama Wednesday night.

True, "big government" was the enemy back when actual communism was a threat. Socialism, on the other hand? Hey, that's state-mandated capitalism, baby! Why mess with all that R&D, marketing and risky, free-market competition when Barack and Congress can simply order customers to hand over the cash? It's all about jockeying for position in the government queue.

Certain sectors will gain much from government patronization -- energy, big pharma, banks. But at least the dirty, nefarious, all-knowing, all-powerful "Republican Military/Industrial Complex" will be put in its place, right? Wrong, suckas!

CNBC prognosticators also recently pointed out that defense companies remain the sole safe bet regardless of which party wins. The Democrats will merely shift away from large force logistics expenditures in favor of tidier push-button toys. (Sorry, Spartan Motors... Ka-CHING, Raytheon!)

The big money knows all this. The big money has placed its bets and gotten in line early. Therefore, no fourth quarter, Reaganomics end-run around all their plans can be tolerated.

Which explains how li'l Sarah Palin could so terrify BlackRock CEO Laurence Fink and his $1.3 trillion investment firm, doesn't it?

I'm guessing he reached for the phone nanoseconds after she bragged about putting the great state of Alaska's Gulfstream IV on eBay.

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