Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Checking the trades

Okey-dokey... Just scanning the daily movie news here.

Let's see what the town that once gave us Lawrence of Arabia and It's a Wonderful Life is promising the world this morning.

Ah. Looks like we've got a big budget film about a farting dog... Excellent. A biopic about a little known member of National Public Radio... Good, good. A nostalgic road-trip picture featuring hippies on LSD, based on something published in 1968... (Gutsy, I like it.) Annnnd, to top it off, looks like we've got a reverent homage to the Prophet Muhammad in the works, too. Well God bless 'em for caring, huh?

Excellent choices, Hollywood. [Splash sips his mimosa, turns the page.]

Wait a minute. What's this--? Says here they're doing an epic actioner about William the Conqueror? What the crap??

I mean, sure, Bush will technically be gone by then, but how does this help the life-or-death struggle against Sarah Palin's America? William didn't wage an illegal foreign war against misunderstood Muslims. He didn't face discrimination as a black athlete in the South. And we as a people didn't survive the Hollywood blacklist for you to make useless stuff like this!

Shareholders, get on the phone now. Because (unless they make him gay or symbolic of European progressiveness, of course) heads need to roll.

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