Wednesday, November 5, 2008

He has arrived

Alright, Superman. You've promised golden streets and candy rainbows. You've got all the power on Capitol Hill. Now make with the salvation.

Cheap college degrees, quality health care for all, new heights of individual and national prosperity -- all with not a penny in higher taxes for anyone under $250,000 -- are at the top of the list. (Oh, we're keeping a list. This is the Internet age, baby.)

Not that taxing one man and not another is justice by any moral standard, but whatever. I just want to see you pull it off while eliminating that deficit you've vowed to break with your bare hands.

Louis Farrakhan believes in you. Billions of well-informed young people believe in you. I'm willing to give you a shot.

The stock market bottomed Oct. 10, though, so don't even think of taking credit for that. The rising tides began to slow some time ago, too.

Do I share your joy in making history? Nah. Race isn't a factor for me, any more than I would have been excited for Sarah Palin because she's a woman. See, I knew my country was capable of such things a long time ago.

I have to admit, though, for the first time in my adult life, I'm honesty glad I've never achieved greatness in life. The sad part is...I just woke up in a country where I'm honestly glad I've never achieved greatness in life.


Anonymous said...

Oh looky, Britain, presumably in the name of the Obamocracy sweeping the planet, put a military antiques dealer away for 5 years for possessing a Great War luger.

Because, you know. Al-Qaeda's weapon of choice would be the blunderbuss, if they weren't so well-regulated.

Splash said...

Ah nuts! I was bidding on that stuff!

Mike Rinaldi said...

Actually Obama and Obiden changed their income limits for raising taxes. It used to be "individuals making less than $250,000 will not get a tax increase." Then on his Thursday infomercial, it was "individuals making less than $200,000." On prime time television directly after that Obamamercial, Biden said "individuals making less than $150,000 won't have their taxes raised." And then sometime on Friday or Saturday, Obama changed it to FAMILIES (not individuals) making under $150,000.

Funny, most candidates wait until they actually take office before they start going back on their word that dramatically.

Welcome to the ObamaNation of Desolation!

Splash said...

And I believe the Wall Street Journal's review of his numbers said individuals at least as low as 167k would get pinched. And none of this takes into account the guaranteed expiration of the Bush tax cuts, which will cause everyone to pay more -- thus, technically, no "new" taxes, know (wink, wink).