Giants stink up homecoming

I couldn't improve on the headline in the Chronicle, so I left it as is.

"These are not things that should happen on a major league field," Manager Bruce Bochy said.

This time, the shoddy play resulted in a 7-2 loss to the Seattle Mariners, a game that drew periodic boos from a far-less-than-capacity crowd at AT&T Park.

Oi... Looks like a long season ahead.

By the late innings, seagulls swarmed the vacant bleachers, Hitchcock style, and sent the few remaining fans scurrying for cover.

The gulls usually wait until the end of the game to descend on AT&T. Hey, at least it wasn't vultures.

Granted, the Giants have had sucky pre-seasons before. Maybe they'll surprise us once it's for real, but you can't help wondering if the ghost of Barry might not be running around in left field. That freedom they've been celebrating can also make for very big shoes to fill.

Still kicking

You've gotta love a heartwarming story like this.

The boy said, "Old man, give me your wallet or I'll cut you," Bair said. The man told the boy he was a former Marine who fought in three wars and had been threatened with knives and bayonets, Bair said.

The man then put his bags on the ground and told the boy that if he stepped closer he would be sorry. When the boy stepped closer, the man kicked him in the groin, knocking him to the sidewalk, Bair said. The ex-Marine picked up his grocery bags and walked home, leaving the boy doubled over, Bair said.

The man reported the attempted robbery to police 45 minutes later.

Sniff... Brings a tear to my eye.

No child [tased in the] left behind

Yeahhhh, I think I'm going to have to go ahead and not send my kids to public school when they're old enough. Though I must say the teacher with the taser needs to win some kind of community service award. Unusually ballsy. This girl's parents, for their parenting however...? Not so much.

I believe the photo above clearly vindicates the teacher. This girl was huge!

Dems in bed with Saddam

Yes, master...

Did you see the news today? Democrat congressmen jetting to Iraq during the prelude to war...on Saddam's dime.

"...Oklahoma Sen. Don Nickles, the second-ranking Senate Republican at the time, said the Democrats 'sound somewhat like spokespersons for the Iraqi government.' "

I know what you're thinking...biggest surprise since Jody Foster came out, right? Still, imagine this happening with Hitler instead of Saddam. You know what we'd call these guys, back when the nation had a single, unified backbone? Traitors.

Go! America! Go!

Tintin update

What's not to love about this project? Spielberg and Peter Jackson are both directing installments... Andy Serkis is doing the motion capture for Captain Haddock... Even the stories now being theorized as the target films sound perfect:

This would mean Spielberg will adapt "The Secret of the Unicorn" and "Red Rackham's Treasure" stories. The first book follows the pair racing to find three parchments, hidden inside the masts of three ship model replicas, which lead to a buried treasure of Haddock's ancestor Red Rackham. The second sees the voyage to find the treasure somewhere in the Caribbean.

I devoured these "graphic novels" (come on, they're comics, people) as a kid growing up in Montana. My brother and I used to check them out at the library every chance we had. They still epitomize the notion of pure adventure in my mind, which is why I'm getting goosebumps over all this.

This also gives me a chance to link a great article I read a year or so back: "All I Know About Travel I Learned From Tintin." And with headings like "chloroform is an effective sleeping aid" you can see why this appealed to the boy I was then and the boy, truth be told, I remain today.

Garfield minus Garfield

We're too busy moving into new digs for me to blog much lately, but enjoy this little bit of strange to pass the time. Thanks to Mike R for the heads up.

Army marches on

Well what do you know. Turns out the Army isn't 'broken' after all.

"In fact, what we've seen over the last year is that the Army retention rates are pretty high, that re-enlistments, for instance, particularly re-enlistments in Iraq and Afghanistan, remain very high," Scales said. He noted that re-enlistments were high even among troops who have served multiple tours.

And the list of all things military for Hillbama to complain about grows shorter and shorter.

Dog pile on Obama!

Goodnight, and God damn America

I was planning a post on Obama's church later on in the campaign, but since this report is all over the Web and talk radio today anyway, I can't resist piling on with a link right now.

Video here, background on the church itself here.

Are we seriously gonna let this guy be president? Seriously??

Two sides of the Iraq debate

For...

Two sides of the Iraq debate were in the news today.

First up, we have those literally praying the U.S. will stay in Iraq and that last holdouts like Mosul will experience the peace and religious freedom being enjoyed elsewhere there. These are the true martyrs in a part of the world that usually reserves the term for murderers, drug dealers and child rapists.




Against...

And now, for a look at the jaded, limo-riding, TMZ-fodder, club-hopping set that likes to "talk about the war" at expensive restaurants while tipping the little people with lottery tickets. The article doesn't confirm they were against the war, but given the fact Fox News is the only outlet mentioning the "Iraq and politics" part -- and given pretty much everything else about the pair -- it's a fairly safe bet they weren't tooling around with a "W in '04" bumper sticker on the back of that limo.

I'm not drawing any across-the-board conclusions here. But these last two often passed themselves off as Hollywood types, and it's easy to see why they got away with it. In either case, I'm just wondering who has a better handle on the reality of the situation in Iraq.

Ouch, Elliot!

Annnnnd that's what she said

Obviously I'm not posting this as news you may have missed. Sometimes, you just have to gloat.

While this is the worst problem Spitzer has faced, his 14 months in office have been marred by problems, including an unpopular plan to grant driver's licenses to illegal immigrants and a plot by his aides to smear Spitzer's main Republican nemesis.

Yep, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Except for maybe Ted Kennedy, but that guy would have to kill someone -- like, actually drive-off-a-bridge-while-intoxicated-and-flee-the-scene kill someone -- to lose his job.

The Marine and the Taxi Driver

Wanna know if you're a conservative or liberal? If this makes you laugh you're the former.

Obama: King of Utopia?

He's a maaaagic man!

Our friends over at Graybrook have another fine post up today, this time on the suicidal Utopian underpinnings of the Obama phenomenon. A danger brought into sharper focus when John Lennon's empty (yet inescapable these days) hymn to humanism"Imagine" becomes the soundtrack to such cultist fervor.

"Here is why a nation with Obama as president will be in such mortal danger. It is because we currently face determined [Islamic] enemies which have a well-honed grand scheme / master plan and are highly motivated to carry it out. Dreamers imagining us "living for today" in a "brotherhood of man" are no match for enemies such as these, who have no interest whatsoever in brotherhood with those who imagine no heaven, no hell and no religion."

If after reading this piece you still doubt Obama represents a cult leader for the brainless, check out this website. Be prepared to laugh.

The video is hilarious enough, but when you read the responses from Obama disciples all but claiming to be healed by the accidental touch of their messiah's garments, you'll really be in for some fun.

I spent most of last Saturday over there messing with their god for kicks. Truly like shooting sheep in a barrel. Only problem is, a lot of these sheep can vote.

Top 10 Movie Henchmen

Personally, I would have put the flying monkeys higher than 10, but it's not my list.

And where's Darth Vader...? Melty-face Nazi from Raiders...? The Oompa-Loompas...? Al Gore...? (Technically the last two are more properly sidekicks or flunkies I suppose, but still.)

Regardless, enjoy what the gang from Empire came up with.