Demb & Demberer

These live debates are a real bitch

I'm just watching the Democratic debate here. So...boring...

Allow me to share my impressions:

Hillary. That voice. It's just phenomenal. I was doing dishes with the water on, the kids running around like maniacs, my wife sizzling dinner on the stove (and sizzling herself), and I could hear every word Hillary said. I swear the woman could out-shrill a blender on "liquefy" -- my experiment for the next debate maybe.

John Edwards is such a doof. He actually thinks he can win by slamming Hillary's Senate vote declaring Iran a terrorist state? In his desperation for traction he's just put himself in the position of defending Iran's Qud Force and Revolutionary Guard. Way to make Hillary look good, moron.

B. Hussein Obama... Said something about bringing people together and moving the country forward. I think. (I never remember the words, but oh how says 'em. So clean for a black man in politics too, right Joe?)

Bill Richardson, all talk and proud of it. ("We need to talk to North Korea, we need to talk to Iran, we need to talk to Syria...") Runner-up Richardson highlight -- calling Obama holier-than-thou and unkind to Hillary. Translation: Veep me up, Hilly!

Chris Dodd: "Blah, blah, harrumph! Blah, growwwl! Blaahhh!" [Repeat rapidly as possible without passing out until buzzer sounds.]

Joe Biden... Ouch. Mispronounced "Giuliani" while unleashing his big anti-Rudy zinger. Looking more and more like Burt Bacharach every day. Almost a Vegas lounge singer vibe. Give that man a martini and purple smoking jacket.

Li'l Dennis Kucinich... Aww. Look how cute he is... Give the little feller a phone book to stand on already. I'm suddenly reminded of a line from my friend Mike Rinaldi's latest film script. Kucinich does look like "a little fudge packer." (You know, the ones who live in that tree and make cookies?) And did he just admit to seeing a UFO?

Man what an ordeal. Think I'm swearing these off until the Republican/Democrat debates. Luckily, "Cavemen" starts in 10 minutes. Time to raise the IQ level around here.

Booya, Romney!!

Are you ready ske-deddy?? Mitt Romney was on "Mad Money" Friday. I never miss this show but of course I missed this one. Looks like Cramer wants you to stick with Rommmmneyyyy!

Scrantonicity

Man I wish I was in Scranton right now. Can you imagine all the great swag??

I'd don an Amish beard, put on a beet-stained Jurassic Park t-shirt and run alongside every car as it rolled into town. That, or banjo serenade the ladies in my Cornell beanie.

First choice of accommodations? Gotta be the Irrigation Room at Schrute Farm, which I understand has gone wireless. And just as soon as they find the wires, they'll have that power right back on.

One thing I can guarantee. Chili's will do huge business, with a record number of orders for Awesome Blossoms (extra awesome, please). As should Benihana, aka "Asian Hooters."

And please tell me some proctologist shows up for this thing driving a brown Probe.

In the land of second chances

The resilience and pure class of the American soldier amazes me.

Remember Pvt. Beauchamp, that liberal weasel-in-uniform who some time ago penned a fraudulent smear of his fellow troops that was swallowed hook, line and sinker by the chronically gullible New Republic? He's still in Iraq, and incredibly, he hasn't been strung up by his heels.

War blogger Michael Yon, in Iraq, has filed an update on the situation after encountering Beauchamp's commander recently. The weasel has reportedly shown signs of becoming a man. (I have my doubts.)

But compare the reaction to Beauchamp's true betrayal over there to the vicious, entirely undeserved "General Betray Us" vitriol Gen. Petraeus had to endure from the Left when he came stateside recently.

Compare it to The New Republic's refusal to own it's failures.

Compare it to Hollywood basing its entire slate of Iraq films on Beauchamp-style lies.

The piece contains a couple references, in fact, to the double burden our troops must shoulder -- the physical attacks overseas and the emotional ones inflicted by the mainstream media.

Simply amazing.


On the related topic of Petaeus' truthfulness in testimony, note Yon's conclusion in another post following yesterday's feeble rocket attack on the airport:

"There is very little al Qaeda left in this area. One known al Qaeda operative was found dead last week, shot in the head. Despite these attacks, violence continues to decrease."

Sorry, libs. The Surge be working.

Illegal immigration by the numbers

Coming soon to a street corner near you

I caught a segment on Glenn Beck the other day featuring a Texas congressman whose name I didn't catch (and didn't find in my lazy Google for the info).

It was the usual story -- numerous hospitals closing in Texas, over a billion dollars per year being spent to educate illegals in Texas schools, 80 percent of babies born at LBJ General Hospital being born to illegals -- you know, the universe-shifting story the MSM refuses to cover.

But those figures had me wondering... What are the current stats?

I found 'em. And they're terrifying. Click here.

Pass this link on, particularly to those in interior states who don't see the tidal wave coming and won't until it's too late.

'24' Season 7 trailer up!

I'm still trying to get the taste of last season out of my mouth, but the first glimpse of January's premier of '24' looks promising. (Can it really be seven seasons already??)

"CTU is gone." Good call. The Jack Cave was getting tired. Besides, every nut job with a suitcase bomb or unaccounted-for can of nerve gas had already been there anyway. It was easier to crash than Lindsay Lohan's car.

Hopefully it's more than just a first-hour gimmick.

The biggest twist? Tony is back -- as the villain. Stroke of genius.

So it appears to be a complete retooling with a fresh new production design. Apart from that other ugly rumor, I'm optimistic. See what you think.

(Thanks to D.C. Jill the heads-up.)

With a name like Dumbledore...

...he had to be gay.

Talk about your old poofters...

" 'Harry Potter' author J.K. Rowling confirmed to TIME Magazine Friday at a public appearance that Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore, the father figure to Harry in the successful series, is gay."

Explains all the purple satin, don't it?

"...More relevant is that Rowling told the audience that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbledore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about her character."

Nice. Studios will battle conservative authors like Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler to the death on every niggling point, political or creative, but when it comes to the noble cause of pushing the gay agenda on legions of nerdy kids in need of an imaginary literary friend, Hollywood will cave to the slightest whim of the author.

You ask me, the whole Harry Potter phenomenon is gay. But personally, based on name alone, I would have voted Cornelius Fudge -- wink, wink -- most likely 'light in the loafers.'

Hollywood finally supports the troops?

Gone, but not forgotten

Wow... Nice to have some good news to report for a change. It seems "Time of Your Life" will be the first film to portray real military men and a real military family in a positive (read: accurate) light.

"'In a world where hopelessness and cynicism rule, this family found healing through celebration, and their story reminds us of the heroism and patriotism that mark the best this country has to offer,' Godfrey said."

This is the producing team who gave us Nativity Story last year. They have the talent, the clout and the heart to do this right.

We who complain about the lack of true diversity in Hollywood nearly damned their career by not backing Nativity. Let's get behind this one and start spreading the word now any way we can.

Say you want a revolution. Please.

Government efforts to enforce the law have again been thwarted...by the government.

"A federal judge ruled Wednesday that the government cannot use mismatched Social Security data to root out illegal immigrants from the workforce, declaring that such enforcement actions would do 'irreparable harm to innocent workers and employers.' "

Are you depressed at this point? I am.

Here we had a rare plan by federal officials to enforce immigration law. It was beautiful in its simplicity. Could have ended illegal immigration overnight simply by penalizing employers for knowingly supplying the paychecks that draw and keep illegals here.

In short, it was the fastest, easiest, most effective and least expensive way to sever the golden cord dangling that greenback carrot over the Rio Grande.

Now...? Nope. Chaos, sweet chaos, continues to reign.

You'd be right in cursing the usual suspects here: a dictator in black robes... Racist Latino activists... The ACLU... But the other member of this unholy alliance may surprise you -- the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

That's right. Big Business. Big Bad Business as I now like to call it.

I hate to go there. I feel like a traitor. But the day has come at last for conservatives to wake up from the Cold War and realize Capitalism is no longer the good guy.

Back in 1985 I recall reading in my (conservative Christian) high school textbook that "pure Capitalism could be as dangerous as pure Communism." That sounded even more blasphemous at the time, but now I get it.

Big Business is functionally amoral. It's pragmatic, self-sustaining. Were it a giant, heavily armed, sci-fi robot, it would be programmed to take out any perceived threat to its own survival. Were it right-wing billionaire Rupert Murdoch, it would help finance Hillary Clinton's campaign juuuust in case. (Recently happened, by the way.)

No surprise then, Big Business isn't remotely "pro-American" either. Instead, it's deeply committed to internationalism, to wide-open borders, the erasure of national boundaries (because if labor and resources are cheaper there than they are here, what's so great about here after all?)

No, America, Big Business isn't your friend anymore. You've outgrown your usefulness. Small business isn't your friend either for that matter. Farmer Jones down the road...? Forget it. They've already got a friend. It's called the bottom line, and it demands cheap labor at any cost.

Some claim many in both parties are quietly pushing for a de facto North American Union. The U.S., Mexico, and Canada all one big, happy, consumer family.

Given Bush's prosecution of our border agents, the vendetta against Duane Chapman, and yesterday's heroics to free a Mexican gang member who raped, tortured and murdered two teens in Texas and laer bragged about it, I have to believe at this point that's exactly what he's all about.

"...Bush administration lawyers said that Texas cannot execute Jose Ernesto Medellin for the rape and murder of two teenage girls because state authorities failed to notify him of his Vienna Convention rights to contact Mexican consular officials after his arrest."

Bush administration? Actually...

"The ICJ, also known as the World Court, ordered the United States to review Medellin's conviction and sentence.

After Texas initially balked, Mr. Bush personally intervened by issuing a presidential order in February, 2005, instructing the state to comply with the ICJ ruling."

Bringing me to the question of the day...

Where do I sign for my pitchfork and torch?

Seriously. I'm done with Dubya. DONE. Consider me at last part of the 70 percent of the country that can't stand the sight of him. If it comes to it, I could be done with the Republicans -- unless by some miracle Tom Tancredo makes it to the next round. (Hey, even that whackjob Ron Paul is looking better and better right about now.)

Yeah, bring on the third party. After today, I'll swamp their little GOP canoe in '08 with a smile.

If you care to join me in at least rocking the boat, start here:

Nancy Pelosi, Devil's handmaiden

It's official. We're circling the drain.

Fresh off her blessing of the unspeakably vile and illegal Folsom Street Fair -- and its S&M treatment of both high art and Christ -- U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has now come out in support of banning God, even in word, from Washington D.C.

But hey, Nancy Pelosi doesn't really represent America, right? Uh... Last I checked, roughly 50 percent of the U.S. population helped put her party in power, then applauded when she took the gavel.

Circling...the...drain...

"President Hillary Clinton" of course would represent the final whump of the plunger, but we'll cross that Tidy Bowl canyon when we come to it.

Though it seems to have mysteriously disappeared from YouTube overnight, online postings elsewhere prove Saturday Night Live stumbled onto the hard truth a year ago. Enjoy. Or throw up. Your choice.

(Beware, mature (i.e. 'pervert') themes in skit. Also, random videos to follow do not necessarily reflect the views of management or this station.)

From Crackle: SNL Nancy Pelosi Parody 11.11.06